All Behaviours are a Form of Communication
Believe it or not, all behaviours serve a purpose in communication. Whether we realize it or not, from the simplest gestures to the most complex verbal exchanges, we are constantly sending messages to those around us. A child crying may signal hunger, discomfort, or a need for attention. When someone rolls their eyes, they might be expressing frustration or disagreement. Even a dog jumping near the back door is a form of communication, indicating that they need to go outside.
Communication can take many forms, verbal and nonverbal alike. And even when words are spoken, those words don’t always mean exactly what they appear to on the surface. It's important as a listener to understand the function that words or behaviours serve (why the speaker is saying such words). When we focus only on the literal words, we might miss the deeper meaning behind them. Tone of voice, emotion, and context are essential in shaping the true message.
Nonverbal communication plays just as critical a role, if not more. A person's body language, facial expressions, and posture can reveal far more than their words. For instance, someone might say they're "fine," but their crossed arms, tense posture, or lack of eye contact could be saying the opposite. Listening, then, isn't just about the words we hear—it involves interpreting the underlying message.
Let’s take a familiar example: a child blurts out, “Mommy, I hate you!” or “Teacher, I don’t want to be in your class!” On the surface, these words can be hurtful, but if we dig deeper and look at the context, we might find the real meaning. The child may be expressing frustration because you're asking them to go to bed early, cutting off their screen time. In this case, the words “I hate you” really mean something like, “I’m upset because you’re taking away something I enjoy.” Recognizing that all behaviours are a form of communication allows us to respond more effectively. Rather than focusing on the exact words or actions, we can think about what they are trying to communicate. This also gives us an opportunity to teach more appropriate ways of expressing needs or emotions. In the example above, a more suitable way for the child to express their feelings could be, “Mom, can I have a little more time?” or “Mom, I feel sad when I have to go to bed early.”
Understanding behaviour as communication helps us meet the underlying needs of others, fostering better connections and providing guidance on how to communicate effectively. Whether it's a child, an adult, or even a pet, behaviours carry messages that go beyond words—and it’s our job to listen and respond in a way that promotes understanding.
After all, when we learn to "listen" with our eyes and our hearts, communication becomes a universal language that everyone can understand 💜
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