As parents, we often find ourselves instinctively responding to our children's actions, especially when they do something that seems “bad” or inappropriate. The typical response might be to say, “No, don’t do that!” While this reaction may stop the behaviour momentarily, it doesn’t necessarily help our children learn what they should do in a similar situation next time.
When we simply tell our children “no,” we’re not teaching them a new skill. We’re only telling them what not to do. Imagine the confusion: “Okay, I won’t do that, but what should I do instead, Mommy? Daddy? Teacher?” Without guidance, our children are left to guess or continue the behaviour in different ways.
Instead of focusing on what you don’t want your child to do, it’s more effective to guide them towards the behavior you do want to see. For example, rather than saying, “Stop running,” try saying, “You need to walk.” Instead of “Don’t use your hands to eat,” say, “You should use your fork.” This approach not only corrects the behavior but also teaches them the right way to act in the future.
Children might lack the skills or understanding of what is appropriate, and they often choose what feels convenient or seems right to them at the moment. As adults, our role is not just to point out the wrongs but to guide them toward the rights. By focusing on what we want them to do—rather than just what they shouldn’t—we empower our children with the knowledge and skills they need to make better choices.
Using positive language isn’t just about correcting behavior; it’s about teaching, guiding, and nurturing our children into confident individuals who understand what is expected of them. It’s about building a positive relationship where learning is encouraged and mistakes are viewed as opportunities for growth. So next time you find yourself ready to say “no,” pause and think about how you can turn that moment into a teaching opportunity by focusing on the “yes.” 💜
Thank you for sharing 😊